11/1/12—9:20p This involves meeting my wants and needs in ways such that I strive for better relationships between myself and other Earthers. I started writing about this because I have thought it’s relevant to the approach I take with pedicabbing.
For example, tonight is Thursday. I could leave this house at around 11 and be pedalling a pedicab by about 12:15am. The appeal of that would be (1) getting a bike ride to and from the Short North; (2) getting out of the house and socializing; (3) making at least some money; or (4) if not making money, I will know that I at least tried.
That approach of knowing that I at least did my best is an idea I have had as I have committed myself to accepting financing from Casey for my pedicab. As I imagine, it involves pedicabbing more frequently, perhaps every day. That approach might work in terms of being in the Short North when there are not events in other parts of town, such as the Schott. I can stop at Travonna for tea or eat some of the food I have brought with me and then go for another round of pedaling.
Right now I am sitting in the house I rent, tapping keys on my laptop. What’s holding me back from biking to the garage, staging the cab, and pedaling the Short North ? I often think it won’t be worth it. What do I mean by that ? Part of the mind game of pedicabbing is that often no one is pressuring me to work as is the case with other jobs, such as the waiter job I quit more than a year ago.
Also part of what disinclines me to try pedicabbing on some nights is that it’s a gamble. But if I assume, for the sake of inquiry, I will make no money, what will I lose ? I sometimes think I will lose precious time. But one way of looking at it is this. The 35-40 min ride each way is good exercise which often improves my mood and my ability to focus. Assuming that I start pedaling a cab at about 12:15 a, that’s about 2 and 1/2 hours where I’m doing a combo of physical exercise, socializing, and working on lovecause via my notebook and my laptop.
But if I’m not out on a cab, I don’t know what I could have done. It doesn’t make sense to sit at home and write when I can be cabbing and bringing in at least some money while also working on lovecause.
I guess part of what’s on my mind right now is that I am wondering whether I will make enough money via pedicabbing this winter to pay my living expenses. That pertains to love in that if I –well, put it this way, if I am unable to pay my expenses via pedicabbing, I will have to find a —-actually, it makes no sense to invest my time and energy into looking for other jobs such as waiter jobs. Actually, I don’t even know what type of job I would seek. It seems that my ability to bring in money via work is a key part of my self-esteem.
One idea I have is that
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