An Experimental Prayer

Columbus Underground
1-7-12

My experimental prayer continues consciously and deliberately as well as unconsciously and unintentionally. But for a slogan, I suggest “much more is possible with love,” over “with God, all things are possible.” Perhaps the latter would be more useful if it read “FOR God, all things are possible, but for the rest of us, MORE things are possible with love.”

1-4-12

Intending to apply scientific reasoning, I’m seeking, with an open mind, a relationship with God or gods, even though it’s contrary to much of what seems true to me. I’m doing it to explore all possible ways for becoming as loving a person as I can be, in private and in public.

I stopped seeking a relationship with God or gods —as a Christian in the mid ‘90s and as a Universalist in ‘99—because via doing so I seemed more loving on an emotional and intuitive level as well as more capable of putting love into practice cognitively.

But I’m keeping an open mind about trying and re-trying whatever it might take to break new ground and get to higher levels of loving others spiritually. So, I’m committing a minimum of 5 minutes each day to doing an experimental prayer, seeking help with becoming a more loving person, from God or gods or whatever higher power there might be.

I’ll probably do this experiment in private most of the time. But I’m willing to do it alongside Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, or actually anyone—theist or atheist. I’m willing to open-mindedly collaborate in ritual with those who use that in their process of communing with God or their gods.

During my most recent experiment in prayer, which was for a period of a few months in ‘99, I minimized verbal expressions to a higher power, whether mental or spoken aloud. At that time in my life, I prayed by visualizing scenarios in which I put spiritual love into practice. I also strove to evoke within myself feelings related to those visualizations.

Via this type of prayer, which some folk might suggest was actually meditation, I strove for an extraordinary degree of cognitive silence and emotional stillness, as I kneeled, intuitively receptive to the ‘presence of God.’

But, if I resort to, or for some reason choose, a verbal component to my experimental prayer, it likely will be similar to the following. “God, please help me. Please push me beyond my spiritual comfort zone. With your help, I can surpass what is currently my limitation for loving others when it’s not easy. Perhaps my true self only exists when in communion with you ”

On the one hand, I might continue this experimental prayer for a few days, weeks or months, depending on whether it seems to be working in terms of me becoming a more loving person in public and in private.

But on the other hand, I might continue for the rest of my life, even if no results seem apparent, so long as it doesn’t seem to somehow detract from my state of mind.

Some of you might not relate to this, but throughout the years, on multiple occasions on which I’ve tried and re-tried prayer, it somehow was emotionally and cognitively disruptive. We’ll see, this time around.

On other, somewhat related points, some time ago, I deemed that the process of relating is the essence of being, and that it involved relating to myself as well as relating to others; and, in some uncanny way, that my understanding of my ‘self’ was inextricable from my ties to others.

As for seeking a relationship with God or gods or whatever there might be, some of you might say my goal ought to be to obey God’s will, irrespective of how I deem it affects the degree to which I love others.

Also, there is the idea that I ought to put loving God before all else. This idea involves, perhaps paradoxically and uncannily, being more loving to friends, family, and people and other sentient beings in general, as a result of putting God first. Interesting ?

In ways I’ve yet to express in detail to myself, let alone others, my agnostic focus on doing my best to love seems to involve a psychological equivalent to what religious folk deem to be putting her or his love for God before all else.

Taking a guess at it, that approach, as an agnostic, seems to involve not going so far with my close social ties that I lose my sense of fairness and justice as it applies to people in general and other sentient beings. In that sense, my love pertains not only to friends, family, colleagues and neighbors, but to those beyond those close ties.

Someone please correct me on this, but I recall Gandhi writing that he took a vow of sexual abstinence as part of his attempt to eliminate the affect his close social ties might have on his moral decision-making. What is the name for that vow pertaining to the Hindu faith ?

I vaguely recall reading about others throughout history who have sought to prevent their close social ties from detracting from their impartiality. Probably, most of us don’t have to concern ourselves with that, given we generally don’t have much power over others.

As for celibacy, I don’t believe it enhances my ability to have , as one person put it, “love for the world.” But I’ve defaulted to it for much of my adult life, and have dreaded that my personal growth would require it, somehow.

I included the last few paragraphs because it might pertain to the idea of putting one’s love for God before whatever love he or she has for others