I don’t understand this though, given that a perfect state of affairs seems unlikely to ever exist. I guess I have had this thought about me genuinely desiring that there be such a state of affairs, but accepting, with genuine reluctance, the fact that such a state of affairs can be approximated, not attained, because I may have suspected that I seemed to somehow be glad that our state of affairs is imperfect, and that there is suffering.
To think of it in another way, perhaps I wasn’t glad about the suffering of others, but rather, I was relieved by thinking that it is a matter of reality that I have limitations in terms of what I can do about the suffering of others; and that making myself miserable by obsessing about the suffering of others, would not, in itself, contribute to the well-being of others.
I imagine that it is a nice state of mind to be in when I deem that I am genuinely doing my best to follow my conscience, that is, living at my potential for doing all I can to help others, human and otherwise.
But one potentially disturbing thought is that our consciences can be wrong. But what is the alternative?
I am not sure why I am attracted to the idea of me genuinely desiring there to be total happiness and no suffering. Perhaps I sense that I would experience some sort of psychological liberation via having such a genuine desire. Actually, what’s key is doing my very best. Pining for a perfect world won’t help.
Perhaps the issue regards being true to myself. Indeed I want to live life to the fullest enjoyment I can get from it. Perhaps an aspect to doing that involves me caring about the thoughts and feelings of others through my companionship and community with others.
Perhaps there is a certain burden that I bear as a result of being ‘overly concerned’ about ‘my own feelings’; and that such a burden is lessened via me taking a genuine interest in the thoughts, feelings, and welfare of others.
It seems, at first perhaps, paradoxical: to get more satisfaction, I need to take more of an interest in the welfare of others.
As I stated in an earlier chapter, if I make changes to how I live my life such that I deem that I make some sort of ethical progress, it is not a matter that I have begun to become less motivated by self-interest due to concerning myself more about others. Rather, if I make what I deem to be moral progress, I have changed the manner in which I relate to myself.
A thought that occurs to me is that there is something appealing to me about me disliking the fact that the perfect state of affairs does not exist. Perhaps I sense that there is something I don’t like about myself, if I somehow like the fact that there is suffering. [The solution is not a matter of seeking a perfect state of affairs; it’s living at my potential for meeting my needs with as little harm and as much benefit to lifekind as possible.
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