What are the details of doing my best to love ?

11/26/12—10:12p What are the details of doing my best to love ? Obviously, I need air, water, food, and shelter. My guess is I also need means of transport including but not limited to walking and cycling. What I’m trying to get at is that I want to gain a better perspective on pedicabbing and whatever other tasks I may engage in to get money.

There is the goal of being able to meet more of my needs without using money. It’s interesting when I stop to think about it that I use money to meet almost all of my needs, except perhaps the need for air. I use money to pay a friend from whom I’m co-renting the house I live in. He includes the bill for electricity and water in what my two housemates and I pay for rent.

Generally, I give people rides on a large tricycle in exchange for having money for water, food, housing, clothing, transport, and so on. It’s an economy where most of us do a specific set of tasks in exchange for a virtually infinite variety of goods and services.

As for pedicabbing, via this type of work I seem to generally have more time, energy, and flexibility with which to engage in a variety of pursuits in various communities than I recall having while working as a waiter, and no doubt more so than I had while working as a grocery clerk or a clerk at a department store.

But I’ve been trying to not think of my changes in circumstances as a matter of me escaping from a bad situation and me fearing losing my current good circumstances and me feeling sorry for those who don’t have my degree of freedom. Instead, I’ve been striving to think of my current circumstances as an opportunity and responsibility to help others—in other words to attend to the details of doing my best to love.

I intend to get clearer and clearer conception of what it means for me to do my best to love. Barring injury or some other incapacitation, it likely will involve me get at least a significant portion of my money via pedicabbing. As I make this journal entry, I’m aware of the fear of not being able to pay for water, food, or housing.

The idea of ‘doing my best to love’ applies to thinking about myself as being less fortunate and also more fortunate than others. It seems that whatever circumstances I’m in, I can strive to help. But what does it mean to help ?

How does ‘doing my best to love’ pertain to my credit debt and my overdue tax filing? There is something that I like about having a sense of being grounded mentally such that I have a sense of the totality of my concerns. This seems to involve me no longer doing audio reports for WCRS in that I want to use writing and singing and whatever other abilities I have to come to terms with my circumstances.

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